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Media Responses to Joan Price and Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty The media jumped on senior sex as a new trend as my Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty and Gail Sheehy’s Sex and the Seasoned Woman were released at the same time in 2006, following on the (round) heels of Jane Juska’s A Round-Heeled Woman : My Late-Life Adventures in Sex and Romance. Media attention to the book catapulted me into the role of "senior sexpert." I have been asked for commentary on everything from senior dating / sexual health (ABC Nightline) to pole dancing among suburban boomers (The New York Times). Here are excerpts from selected media reviews and interviews. Television: From ABC’s
online synopsis of the show: The book has gone to a second printing, so high is the demand for information from people in her generation. It's also led to a blog, in which middle-age and older men and women write in for some straight talk about sex -- everything from when is too soon to become intimate with a new man after a spouse dies, to reclaiming sexuality after cancer. Now 63, Joan is a newlywed. She met her husband Robert when he took her line dancing class. The sex? She's happy to report that it's never been better. "I had expected, as a young person, that old people a) didn't have sex, or b) if they did, they didn't enjoy it, because it was something that young people did," she says. "And then, when I fell in love at age 57, I was amazed at how wonderful it was, not only being in love, but also our sex life." Talk
Sex with Sue Johanson, Oxygen TV, April 15, 2007 Print
and Online: .... By and large, the books carry an optimistic message -- that despite age, menopause and wrinkles, women can continue to enjoy sex. "We are having hot, fabulous sex after sixty," Ms. Price writes. "Society's view of aging women as sexless is wrong, wrong, wrong." Her book includes advice on fitness and remedies for those who can't achieve orgasm. Kirkus
Reports: Health & Fitness, Dec. 2, 2005 Library
Journal, Martha Cornog, Feb. 1, 2006: "The Go-Go Golden Libido"
Village Voice,
Tristan Taormino, May 22, 2007: “Knockin' Vintage Boots: Golden
girls get their groove on past 60” MSN.com, Jeremy
Egner, May 2007: “Beyond Sags and Bags” Price recalls asking her 70-year-old husband Robert, whom she married last May, to explain exactly how he could consider her to be as beautiful as he claimed when she could plainly see all her lines and physical imperfections whenever she looked into a mirror. (So don't expect those sorts of questions to go away anytime soon, guys.) "He told me, 'If I am to know myself and accept my own aging process, how could I want anything less from you?'" Price says. "I tell that story sometimes when I'm asked to speak somewhere and women always ask, 'Does Robert have a brother?'" "When two people who really accept themselves come together, that's where good sex happens," she adds. "The most powerful sex organ is the brain." Best Life
magazine, Colin McEnroe, April 2007: "She Hunts by Night" ... "What we want from men is not what they think we want," agrees Price. "Men think we want a raging erection and the Energizer bunny. We have always wanted foreplay. Now we want even more, so much that we don’t even want to call it foreplay. I actually recommend that older couples schedule lovemaking. Schedule it at a time of day when you both have a lot of energy, which is usually not when you're falling asleep at night. There's a reason they call it 'afternoon delight.' And schedule at least two hours." North Bay Bohemian, March 2007, "Best of the North Bay 2007" award: "Best and Mightiest Aphrodite"
Wrinkly sex kitten? Yeah, why not. Enter the world of Joan Price, who at 63 is pshawing the way that pop culture ridicules older people who still have sex. The Sebastopol resident has written Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, which has become something of a bible for sextua-, septua- and octogenarians wanting to restore their sex lives. She's packed the book with exercises to keep love muscles tuned up, testimonials by older women doing it and her own story about falling for the love of her life at age 57. This author-cheerleader has been touring throughout the country, giving workshops to women--and sometimes men--who are 50-plus and want to keep their sex drive alive. "When I do a workshop," she says giggling, "it's sort of an ice breaker the first time I say 'lubricant' or 'vaginal tissue' or 'clitoris' or 'sex toy.'" To Price, mature desire is not an oxymoron. In fact, she and her husband don't see any reason why wisdom shouldn't be sexy. "[My husband] sees wrinkles as sexy," she says. "He sees an aging body and face, certainly, as extremely attractive, because they reflect what a woman has experienced and learned and given to the world and brought back to herself. Someone without them is sort of suspect." Price also has a popular blog, www.betterthanieverexpected.blogspot.com, where she and her readers discuss issues surrounding aging. In one recent post, Price brainstorms about different terms to describe older people: senior, elderly, mature, etc. She was prompted to write this post after reading a newspaper article that referred to a political conference attendee as a "little old lady." Although the article wasn't talking about her, per se, she took it as an affront to her demographic as a whole. On her blog, she quipped, "Don't call me a little old lady ... Call me Joan." Whatever you call her, she's our mighty, middle-aged Aphrodite. RebeccasReads.com,
Alma Bond, January 29, 2006: "Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty"
Joan circulated the following: "Wanted: Interviews with sassy, sexy women, age 60+, who are willing to share feelings and experiences openly and anonymously in a candid, woman-to-woman book." To her surprise, women responded abundantly, & were hungry to share their experiences & reveal the most intimate details of their bodies, fantasies, & relationships. Price uses quotes from these women's responses to illustrate her findings throughout the book. The book is also helpful in giving advice about certain problems of aging, such as hot flashes, the generation's HRT dispute, painful intercourse, exercises to strengthen muscles to enhance sexual pleasure, preparations to establish intimacy before having sex, the use of sex toys, & solo sex. ... [H]ighly recommended for young people on the verge of discovering the paradise of sexuality, for older couples who have been brain-washed into thinking sex is only for the young, & for those happy lovers of all ages who wish to believe that the bliss of lovemaking will continue as long as they live. Cox
News Service, Anne Rodgers, May 06, 2006: Reviews of five books on midlife
sex Ottawa
Sun, Ann Marie McQueen, May 04, 2006:
“Ageless Sex Advice: Author touting the benefits of nookie after
60” She gathers steam as she describes such men, who will listen as women say things like, "let's see what we can do about my thinning vaginal tissues, about my lack of lubrication." She stops suddenly. "This may be too frank for you." "No, no," I say, realizing I had starting chuckling out loud right about the time Price said "thinning vaginal tissues." "You all right?" she says once more, sweetly, before forging ahead " -- what can we do about my slow arousal, what can we do about the time it takes to reach orgasm?" If you are below 50, and before you start going 'ewwww' at the priceless Price, it might be time to think about where your own life is headed. That's right. Straight to 60, and beyond. Might be time to pay attention. And ditch the attitude, such as the kind embodied in Louise Rafkin's article for the San Francisco Chronicle magazine, headlined "Now that Baby Boomers have discovered there's sex after 60, could they please stop writing about it?" It's not very likely Price is going to do anything of the kind. In fact, she's made it her mission to speak on it as much, and as frankly, as possible. "If you want
to be a sexual person, you've gotta really make a commitment to it, you've
really gotta say, 'I'm gonna love my wrinkles, I'm gonna love my sags,
I'm gonna love my partner's wrinkles and sags and we're gonna find ways
to rejuvenate the relationship,' " she said. Fitting, really, considering Price blames the media for the dim light cast on aging women. "It has never
portrayed the older woman as sexy, understanding herself, self-confident,
self-knowledgeable, self-affirming and that that's a good thing,"
says the California-based Price. If women are shown as sexual when they
are older, it's either perceived as ground-breaking (Diane Keaton in Something's
Gotta Give) or predatory and pathetic (a turn by actress Holland Taylor
on Boston Legal's predecessor The Practice). They are invisible in magazines,
says Price, who is determined to build on the current wave of awareness. Price's perky, inspirational book offers not academic theories but practical expertise. It is filled with concrete tips -- say, instructions for how to use a vibrator -- and she's-been there-anecdotes about everything from exercise, to hormone replacement therapy. North
Bay Bohemian, Brett Ascarelli, Feb.
14, 2007: “Birds, Bees, and Oldsters Do It” One recent afternoon at her Sebastopol house, the 4'11" Price is wearing a rhinestone-covered blouse and Mary Janes. No wonder she's getting some; at 63, she's super-fit, thanks to a frequent work-out regimen and what must still be damn good metabolism, given the chocolate cookies she's munching. ... Price is a poster-adult for the cause and now fields sex-related questions from mature adults at workshops across the country. "I call myself an advocate for ageless sexuality," Price laughs, "but maybe I'm trying to do more than that: I'm trying to change society one mind at a time, I guess." CTW
Features, Mark L. Fuerst, November 2006 (appeared widely in print and
online newspapers): “Autumn of Love: Birds do it, bees to it, even
educated older couples can, too.” Some 70 percent of sexually active women over 60 reported being as satisfied or more satisfied with their sexual lives than they were in their 40s, according to a 1998 survey of nearly 1,300 Americans aged 60 or older, conducted by the National Council on Aging, Washington, D.C. “My experience certainly supports that,” says Price, who also is a dance instructor, fitness professional, speaker and health writer. “In my 40s, I was unnerved by the realization that my sex life was being affected by undeniable signs and feelings of aging. Now I’ve grown past wanting to hold onto to youth in the bedroom, and as a result I feel truly present with my lover and capable of intense satisfaction.” Changes after menopause make sexual enjoyment challenging, but “we’re using our creativity, our personal power, the joy and intimacy of our relationships, and useful tools of all sorts — from sex toys to a sense of humor — to tackle those challenges,” Price says. The book is mainly about her intensely up-front-and-personal story of hot sex with her 68-year-old lover, Robert, whom she married earlier this year, along with snippets of interviews with other sexually seasoned women about their experiences. “Sexual response is in our brains. I’m in love with the man I’ve been looking for my whole life, whom I met when I was 57 and he was 64,” says Price, age 61 when she wrote the book. “We’re as turned on by each other as a couple of teenagers, but with the juicy addition of decades of life experience, self-knowledge, communication skills and a sense of humor. We’re also willing to experiment and stretch our boundaries.” Price adds that “we overcome the physical challenges by being inventive and resourceful. We take advantage of the lessened urgency by slowing things down, taking more time.” Unfortunately, society has not become more accepting of older-age sexuality. “One day I watched some television talk shows about the sexiness of older women. They dressed sexy, pole-danced, and taught the audience how to strip. But these so-called ‘older’ women were probably in their 40s! I’d like to see women who admit and look like they’re over 60 on these talk shows, rousing other older women to assert their sexuality. We need to accept that women can and do stay sexy through the decades, and it doesn’t stop when we no longer can hide the wrinkles or saggy skin.” … One of Price’s major messages is that boomers are redefining aging and sexuality. “We’re the Love Generation; we practically invented sex,” she says. “We’re not about to shut the gates now!” North
Bay Bohemian, Patricia Lynn Henley,
October 18, 2006: “Local Lit” This isn't a stodgy or academically oriented self-help book; it's a bright, witty, let's-get-the-gals-together-and-just-gab look at keeping the home fires burning when some of the parts have shifted or sagged. It's inspiring. It's a bit arousing. And it's definitely worth reading, either by women who refuse to believe their senior years have to be asexual, or by men who want to understand what's happening in an older woman's mind and body, as well as what excites and satisfies her. Price shares her personal experiences along with thoughts and anecdotes from a wide range of older women who revel in their sexuality. The book covers the challenges of post-menopausal love-making together with creative and loving solutions. "There's nothing hotter than sex between people who know their own bodies, are crazy about each other, relish taking lots of time and honor sex as extremely spiritual and physical," writes Price. "I just don't think people can get there without a whole lot of life experience and a hefty dose of relationship mistakes along the way!" Sonoma
County Press Democrat, Sara Peyton,:
"Female authors offer advice on sex later in life: 'Straight talk'
about intimacy from Freestone fitness guru” "I had met the man of my dreams and the love of my life at age 57 when he was 64," said Price. "Not only did we enjoy a wonderful, romantic relationship but also really hot sex. I considered it the best sex of my life, physically fulfilling and emotionally high. We were bringing to the relationship wisdom and knew what we wanted to communicate - all in one sexy package. "But we're living in hormonally deprived bodies, thinning tissues, and very little if any natural lubrication," added Price. "And that makes sex challenging." Price wanted more information. She hunted for more information about other older people's sexual experiences. Sure, she found the doom-and-gloom books and magazine tales but nothing fun. So she set out to write the book she wanted to read, exploring her personal sexual history and interviewing other women about theirs. "I shared every part of my life, from my early sex education right through the wild times in the 60s and 70s to the desert of my 50s and the dessert of my 60s," she said about writing her sixth book. Much to her surprise, her sexual tome for the soon-to-be-retired set arrives in bookstores just as a new wave of publications spotlighting boomer women's sexual proclivities are landing on book shelves. All designed for the much ballyhooed generation of passionate, liberated female boomers, women who have refused to conform to stereotypical roles at any age. In a recent New York Times article exploring sex and the aging woman, Price's book was discussed. So was Gail Sheehy's latest about female passages, "Sex and the Seasoned Woman." Price, who teaches contemporary line dancing at Coaches Corner in Sebastopol and country and western line dancing at Monroe Hall in Santa Rosa, admits staying in shape has not only helped her enjoy sex but kept her feeling good about her body. "Body image is a big part of sexuality after 60. But no matter what age you are, at a certain point you just have to say, this is the youngest I'm ever going to be at this moment, so I might as well enjoy my body now." Just consider the irony, Price adds. "We went through our youth wishing men would give us more foreplay and now they're doing it. Sex is no longer a rush to the finish line." Newsday,
Peter King, December 31, 2005: "Sex after 60: It's good news"
"Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty" (Seal Press, $15.95) by Joan Price is for women only. The book is part motivational memoir, part self-help guide and part sex manual in which Price asserts, "Society's view of aging women as sexless is wrong, wrong, wrong." Price, 61, writes from experience. The book sprang from her own bout of "post-menopausal angst" when she thought her sex life was over. It wasn't, although she writes that "changes after menopause make sexual enjoyment challenging." Even so, Price says her sex life now is better than ever. "Better Than I Ever Expected" gives older women advice on how to date and how to love. Price, who has written several books on health and fitness, also includes many tips on how exercise makes sex better. Price recognizes the challenges of older sexuality but revels in the rewards. "We're the Love Generation - we practically invented sex," she writes. "We're not about to shut the gates now!" Ottawa
XPress, Sylvie Hill, May 2006: "Check
the Expiry Date"
Healthy
Life, Jennifer Margulis, May 10, 2006:
"A Celebration of Sex"
The idea for the book came out of the relationship she was having with an understanding lover.... “I went looking for good sex books, both fiction and nonfiction, specifically aimed at my age group. I was surprised - and turned off! - by how few of these books existed, and how dry and unsexy most of them were,” she says. “Some were much too academic to bring into the bedroom, many were outdated, and some were supposed to be titillating but weren’t—at least to us.” So Price decided
to write the book she wanted to read.... And her book—which is full
of exclamation points and positive affirmations about ageless sex—reads
like it was written by a woman on a mission. ... “Our hormonally deprived bodies challenge us with less lubrication; thinner, less resilient vaginal tissues; and often less physical sensation,” she admits. “Our bodies are slower to respond, and we may have more trouble reaching orgasm.” Some of Price’s solutions to our body’s changes? Lubricants, vibrators, a sense of humor, and a very patient, loving partner. “Sexual response is in our brains more than our genitals,” Price insists. “My lover and I are as turned on by each other as a couple of teenagers, but with the juicy addition of decades of life experience, self-knowledge, communication skills, and a sense of humor.” She says sex over 60 has made her both adventurous and accepting: “We’re willing to experiment and stretch our boundaries. Men will be relieved to learn how accepting most women are about men’s changes and how to have great sex even when some parts aren’t cooperating.” Throughout the book Price includes quotes from women who took her survey—women in their 60s who are having great sex. It’s a pre-selected group, which Price herself points out. When she sent out a call for interviewees she stated she was looking for “sassy, sexy women, age 60+ to share feelings and experiences openly and anonymously” so any women who didn’t fit that description would not have responded. ...If you’re
looking for great sex over 60 but not yet having it, this book might make
you feel rather alienated and depressed (wow, all those folks out there
getting their groove on, where’s mine?). But maybe, just maybe,
it’ll get you into your first sex shop purchasing your first sex
toy. After all, it’s never too late to start. Joan's
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ABC
Nightline, Friday,
Dec. 1, 2006 (DVD of clip
from show available on request) 
If
gaining entrance to the love-ins of the '60s was contingent upon being
mortal, Aphrodite would likely have traded in her spot on Mt. Olympus
for a ticket. Some 40-odd years later, would this goddess-turned-mortal
still be sexy? Somewhere after menopause, she'd probably have traded in
her Botticelli curls for a Diane Sawyer coif. Popping Viagra, suitors
would still come knocking to woo this now mature and wrinkly sex kitten.