Meet Joan Price!

Communicate. Tell your partner what you're feeling, or not feeling, and describe what would make sex better or more comfortable for you. Your partner wants to understand and please you.
Take lots and lots of time. We need more time to become aroused and make the delicious journey to the crashing waves. Set aside a couple of hours so you have time for the full experience, from the first kiss to the afterglow cuddle.
Find positions and props that enhance your comfort. A special shaped pillow like the Wedge and a silky lubricant can make all the difference in comfort!
Explore erotic helpers. I wrote a whole chapter on sex toys in Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty, including divulging my favorite, so I won't go into detail here.

(Click here to read more tips for great sex at my blog.)

Many of you are familiar with the love story I tell in Better Than I Ever Expected about my romance with Robert. Since the book was written, two major events in our lives happened: Robert and I got married, and Robert had six months of chemotherapy to treat his leukemia and lymphoma (happily now in remission).

Each chemotherapy treatment left Robert sick, depressed, and exhausted. Then, as he started to come back, he wanted to make love.

"I sought to be whole, not damaged by cancer and chemo, celebrating the source of life," he told me. "I needed to feel alive and well, not just a 'survivor.' I wanted to express myself completely through this body that felt violated."

This subject - along with most topics of senior sexuality - is seldom broached by health professionals. One of my readers told me her painful story of bringing up the issue of sex after cancer treatment and watching her oncologist bolt from the room!

It's not just sex after cancer that makes doctors uncomfortable - it's often the entire issue of older people still having and wanting good sex. Medical professionals have meager training in sexuality, and often no training in the special sexual challenges we face as seniors.

I talk to many women who didn't know that lubricants and sex toys could enhance their sexual pleasure. They thought that dryness, slow arousal and difficulty reaching orgasm were a part of aging that they had to accept. I'm distressed that many doctors tell women this - often without running tests to see whether hormone levels or other conditions which may be treated might be affecting sexual response.

I'm not dumping on doctors, just on their training. I've been thrilled by the response of medical professionals to my speeches and workshops: doctors, nurses, therapists, and alternative practitioners who are hungry for information. One Santa Rosa, California gynecologist bought 25 copies of my book to give to her patients!

Our older bodies startle us by altering shape, sensitivity, strength, flexibility, and sexual responsiveness. Aches, pains, and chronic conditions develop. Can the Love Generation say we're still having great sex, despite bodies that confront us with brittle bones, aching joints, uncooperative parts, or a doctor's diagnosis that sends us reeling? Yes, we can.

With all these challenges, we are remarkably resilient. These bodies are still capable of immense pleasure and exquisite sensation. They are still our domain of delight, intimacy, and connection.

--Joan Price

This article was first published by Suddenly Senior.

Ageless sexuality advocate Joan Price is the author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty (Seal Press, 2006). Her "Better Than I Ever Expected" blog is creating a community of people talking about sex and aging.

NOTE: All of the content on this web site is copyrighted, original work by © Joan Price. Unauthorized reproduction of any content presented here through any medium is in violation of federal and international copyright laws. None of this content may be copied, distributed, or published through any medium without permission from Joan Price.